Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Even though we were only out of town for a few days, it really took it out of me. It's been a week since we've been back and I'm finally falling into a rhythm again.
I've had so much on my mind lately.. my mind and notebook are flowing with ideas and the creative juices are flowing. The problem for me is, and always has been, that I'll be sitting folding laundry or doing some totally regular activity and bam! ideas hit me and then I write them down (or sometimes I forget which is ridiculously unfortunate) and then they never come to fruition. I get crippled by some really odd kind of fear. But my ideas are good. Really good. And I know they are and I know that I can do them. Or some. Or one of them. But something in me says no.
And I'm goddamn sick of it.
I can't let how hard something seems be the reason I don't bloom. I have been all over the place in my head in the past six years.. seriously, everywhere from astrophysicist to photographer to book writer.. and I think I am finally getting to a place where I am realizing my true and honest values and place in this world. It's a relief. I can't imagine that I am the only early 20-something that feels utterly panicked and lost because I haven't known that I wanted to be an accountant since I was 12. Some of us just need more time.
image via Promise Tangeman // lettering by Lindsay Letters