Sunday, March 6, 2011

life right now

It's 9:02 AM.

I started nursing the baby at 8:15. The toddler is not-so-quietly playing trains and grazing his breakfast.
By 8:30, the baby is pretty much finished but still fussing a bit.
I move her and she burps. Daintily of course.
Then she goes into a milk blackout and seems to be asleep.
I cuddle her a bit.
By the time I have decided I should put her down, her eyes are open.
All the while I am desperately trying to read just a few of the thousands of things cued in my Google Reader. On my iPhone 4. Brilliant.
I switch her position to the most awkward thing I can imagine.
She dozes in and out.
Finally, her eyes are closed. She is fast asleep.
I could cuddle her all day, but I know that I have to get up.
A game plan starts buzzing through my head:
Swaddle baby, put in swing, eat something- anything, clean up the toddler's syrup mess from the table, turn the washer and dryer back on so I can attempt to finish that laundry that has been sitting in there for a couple of days, look in the mirror to make sure I don't look like a monster.

So like I said, it's 9:02 AM. I put my plan in motion. Success, the baby is down in the swing. Pour self a bowl of Blueberry Muffin Mini Wheats. Explain to toddler that this is my breakfast and I will not share. I know, I'm mean. Walk around house with said bowl of Mini Wheats looking for things that might need to be cleaned up. Start laundry machines. Quick look in mirror.

9:13 AM. Sit down at computer to write this. Internet doesn't respond right away. Get annoyed.

9:14 AM. Internet is working. Start writing furiously. Time is precious.

9:17 AM. Baby is grunting. Pop in a binky.

9:22 AM. Be a complete dumbass and drop my bowl of cereal on the floor. No cereal left, just a little milk, but still.

This is life. Right now, this is my life. My to-do list today consists of laundry, dishes, lasagna for dinner (Stouffer's). If I get those 3 things done and the house doesn't burn down and my kids are fed and don't get diaper rashes, the day is successful. Some days, this can be utterly exhausting. And then when my toddler goes to sleep at night and I go to check on him and realize that he doesn't even look remotely like a baby anymore, I realize how worth it this life's work is. Being a mother is all I need to be. I'm sure there is more for me, but right now, being a mother is more than enough.

9:25 AM. Decide that I can't possibly hit publish without posting a picture. Open Photoshop. Quick edit and resize. Save for web.

9:27 AM. Look behind me to see toddler watching baby sleep. Just absolutely melt.

9:28 AM. Insert picture and hit publish.

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