i abandoned this blog. it's been over 2 months since i last wrote a blog post. i've kept a blog since before evan was even born. but i've never really been here. there have been some really heartfelt posts. some posts i really liked. some posts you really liked. but i never really put everything into this blog. i wanted it to be perfect. i wanted it to be the perfect reflection of me. but in striving for perfection, i got in my own way. i really have a way of doing that. overthinking. waiting instead of doing. pretending like i can't do anything unless it's perfect. every post i write doesn't have to be perfectly crafted. the layout doesn't have to be perfect. the design elements don't have to be professional. i don't have to know what tomorrow's post will say in order to write today's. coming up with irrational excuses in my head doesn't make anything move forward. remaining stagnant as a result is utterly ridiculous because there is nothing to be afraid of. i have nothing to lose and everything to gain and as cliche as that may sound, it is the truth. and this really goes for all the elements of my life. writing it is so easy, but making myself believe it in a real way is the hard part.