sometimes we forget about the person we intended to be

I haven't been myself.
For a long while, I have let myself live life without paying attention to the life I'm living.
I say this only in relation to my personal space not involving my husband or kids.
I am totally there with them.
But with myself, I have been absent.
I have forgotten to have passion.
I have forgotten to hold true to my convictions.
I have forgotten to be the person I intended to be.
None of us know who we are, but we know the things that we are.
Or at least the things we want to be.

I want to be a person who reads books.
I want to be a person who sends letters.
I want to be a person who does not bite my finger nails.
I want to be a person who shops small businesses and farmers' markets.
I want to be a person who exercises.
I want to be a person who washes off my makeup at the end of the day.
I want to be a person who inspires others.
I want to be a person who can write this post and not delete it.
I want to be a person who forgoes the television.
I want to be a person who learns to quilt in honor of my grandmother.
I want to be a person who does what she says she is going to do.
I want to be a person who lives real life.
I want to be a person that contributes something to this world.
I want to be a person who has pride and can admit when she is wrong.
I want to be a person who faces challenges with no fear of failure.
I want to be a person who knows which challenges to face.

All such small things. But they mean a big thing.
They mean that I am unafraid to say that I want to be better.
They mean that I know the things I want to be.
That's only the first step.
Next I must be them.